I was speaking with a dear friend today who is going through a very difficult storm. She wanted some ideas of ways to possibly fuel herself to enable her to get through a really challenging period in her life.

Because we are all so different, we can never prescribe a “one size fits all” approach to charging ourselves. We also can never fully understand the depth of someone else’s pain.

Trust me, I know this only too well.

What I do know is that if a person is able to take something specific and genuinely relevant from these generic suggestions, I do know from the depth of personal experience and one hell of a storm myself, as well as years and years of study, research, working on personal development projects and feedback that they seem so simple and yet they make a significant difference.

If you are going through something really hard, any storm, make a cup of tea (or coffee or fruit juice, or whatever you love and grab a chair).

Here it goes.

It’s OK to not feel OK.

Sometimes just the acknowledgment validates the emotional experience.

Some storms are so painful.

That’s OK. We don’t have to have it together all the time.

Breathing really helps.

Correct breathwork can make a transformative physiological change in your body and you will start to feel different. You’d be amazed at how few people really know how to breathe properly. Worth looking up the variety of ways to breathe.

Listen to your favorite song!

I don’t think most people know how excruciatingly complex my storm has been in the past. My days and nights sometimes seemed all rolled into one massive blur as I navigated my way. Yet, when I blare FLAMES in full volume, nothing stops me. I work, I run, I study, I just figure it out. The words and beat are a theme and mantra for me. Who would have thought a song can instantaneously change your entire emotional experience in a minute! It does.

Do what you love.

We forget that pleasure fills us.

When we’re in pain, we lose sight of what we actually like doing. Don’t take for granted the gentle power of doing something that you really enjoy. Even if it provides a moment of respite and distraction, it shifts something. Make time to do more of what you love.

Connect with someone.

We are all fighting a battle. We don’t have to be in our hardship alone. No one is you, you have that, but we can divide our load, even if it means sitting in absolute silence with a friend. We are wired for connecting with others. It’s good for us.

Change your environment.

Go outside, move your body, go for a drive, watch a sunset, take the dog for a walk. When you move to a new physical space, your perspective adjusts. Your storm won’t just suddenly subside, but you’ll be able to look at it with new eyes. What you see from one place, you don’t see from another.

Take a moment to think about one of your most passionate goals.

When you focus on something purposeful, you have the power to shift to a more productive, creative, intentional state of mind. I see this happen in coaching every day and it is extraordinary. Even when a client arrives at a session carrying something hard, the moment we dive into their goals and shift gears, their energy changes immediately. No one leaves the same way they enter.

Help someone else.

It’s funny how in the depth of our own chaos, when we help someone else, it lifts us tremendously. It’s like there is an invisible magnetic field or umbrella of kindness pulling us to a new arena where we can take shelter. This can propel you forwards in a surprising way!

It might sound cliché but gratitude can change your life. It neurologically changes your brain too.

Even when things are so difficult, there is always always something to be grateful for. Blessings are everywhere. I could write a book about all the gifts these past 2 years have brought me. In the darkest of nights, there is a glimmer of light. Your choice is to search for it and find it. We always find what we’re looking for.

Be kind to yourself.

Some days, just getting out of bed is worth celebrating. Notice your progress, track your wins and successes no matter how big or small they are. The accumulated impact of each one will give you essential momentum to keep going. Look for those wins!

Look after yourself.

Times can be oh so tough, but so are we. We are so much stronger than we realize. Dedicate time to rest, eating well, exercise, prayer, meditation, reading, learning, and fun. These are all important contributions to your battery recharge. I do these habits daily and they truly elevate my life. I didn’t realize to what extent they literally save me.

And finally, go at your pace.

You’re in competition with no one. Take your time and listen to yourself. Trust your inner wisdom to make decisions that feel right for you. You may have to stop things for a while and make some changes in your life that you don’t want to make but they are necessary to make for now. Be patient with yourself. The people who love you will understand and support you too.

Storms often clear a path.

It hurts like hell, causes serious damage, and may leave us with some deep cuts, bruises, and scars.

But we know that scars are a sign that we have survived.

And when the storm inevitably ends, and it ultimately does, we have fresh new eyes.

And the good news is, we don’t even have to wait for the storm to pass, we can learn to dance in the rain.